I woke up early and that was not my usual routine after a long break of staying at home,my body was heavy--yet I felt that I should go somewhere and that somewhere was one thing I should figure out. There was no stress in me that would made me a bit pressured, and no very complicated issues to remind myself about. I sit and walk around the four corners of the place I would always love to come back to, a home. Wait, hours had passed a sudden urge in me occured, and suddenly I felt that my whole nervous system was becoming more active, that was it! and i hoped I knew it earlier. Funny feeling, surprised! Im getting 1 year old tommorrow, and that something I need to worry about. Worry about how Im going to face another year in my life as me. How will I change my routine, and how will I know I'm living the best of my life.
This problem was something I am after, How will I know I'm living the best of my life---Blank. I got to stepped out at home, rode on a tricycle and witnessing others to live their life. I saw a man, a greasy man with nothing on his body that could protect him from the enemies around him--rain,rays and more. He's out there looking at the sky, and I looked at it also..there was nothing special about the sky "yes, it's blue and white". I saw a group of man, working on their fields, and this made me realize that life isn't about hoping for another day to come, not about wishing that rain should go away, not about worrying foods to eat as human's only survival, not about becoming someone else,and not about figthing your enemies.
But it came to my mind that there is something more about looking at the sky, it's not just staring at them, but be grateful that beyond those cloud balls we get to imagine the life we wanted,we get the chance to daydream and moments like those was really the most pleasurable time of nothing to do (like the greasy man). Life is about living your life to the fullest until tomorrow comes, we don't just hope for a day to come and finish, it's about realizing what have we done, what regrets have we put on our simple lives? and would we able to do better tomorrow.
I always wanted rain, some put curse on them, some play with them, remember how those little droplets made beautiful rainbows? How many times children always draw them on their small drawing book? If we kept on wishing that rain should go away and come again another day, will children see them perfectly again?, how will they know the image of a perfect rainbow? and will there be another day for us to see rain and be excited and hopeful about seeing a rainbow?
Life is not about worrying foods to eat, it's about tasting every bit of it. Not just drinking water, but tasting water-- how water could be so tasteless? How each grains become rice in our plates?. It's about letting our taste buds define salty from soury, sweetness to bitterness, spicy to tasteless?.
It's not about becoming someone, but becoming yourself. Be true and don't wish about excahging shoes, be grateful you have yours.Be happy. And life isn't about figthing your enemies, it's about trusting someone and loving them. Enemies become enemies because you lack those two. What will you do if one day you woke up and finding yourself lying in bed with your enemy? Will you let him wake up? will you let him live another day? or is it waking him up and saying it's a new day. Will you say this words "Past is past"?
I know there is more to life, more on how to live my best. And it's not just about hating that I'm getting old, but be prepared.
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